Begin discussions in an inviting, rational tone
- Remember body language
- Speak clearly in a confident voice
- Use “I” statements: “I would like,” “I would appreciate”
- Use “I feel” statements: “I feel ____ when ____”
- Use factual descriptions when someone has upset you; do not exaggerate, label or judge
- Keep requests simple
- Focus on present concerns only, do not generalize
- Do not lecture
- Be specific about concerns
- Base objections on behaviors, not personality
- Be willing to compromise to create a win/win situation
- Do not “one-up” others
- Listen and clarify if needed; acknowledge that you hear the other person’s position
- Don’t assume you know the other person’s motives
- Ask questions for more information
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